Gary Barwin

Hugh Thomas

Craig Conley

Franzlations takes the parables and aphorisms of Kafka as a starting point, and steps a few places to the left in order to reinvent them. Sometimes this means walking off a cliff and into the empty air. (Don't look down!) Sometimes this means keeping the cage and replacing the bird. For of course, Kafka's writing is a rich source of ideas, play, structure, and wit. It looks like the real world, but in the way the bootstrap that one pulls oneself up with looks like a real bootstrap. It is said that if Kafka had not existed, Kafka would have had to invent him. But since he did exist, Franzlations has invented an imaginary Kafka so that he could help create the Kafka that was already there. Perhaps it was that. Kafka who helped create these imaginary parables. This, itself, is a parable. A man once said, "If you only followed the parables, you yourselves would become parables and with that rid yourself of all your daily cares." Another replied, "I bet that is also a parable." The first said: "You have won." The second said: "But unfortunately only in parable." The first said: "No, in reality: in parable you have lost." –Franz Kafka

The Imaginary Kafka Parables

Franzlations

Prof Oddfellow

"A great deal of fun!" -Dr. Larry Hass, philosopher "Purring with happiness!" -Abigail McBride, magician "A charming and subversively ''innocent'' book that delightfully combines pro-feline sentiments and self-awareness. For those who have become jaded by decades of ''visualization techniques'', shifting the perspective to ''cat consciousness'' is both ingenious and refreshing." -Ken Clinger, recording artist "I am curled up in the feline position thoroughly enjoying how to become my own inner kitty. Cats are such enigmas, and this is just a truly delightful and thoughtful exploration of their psychology. I read it all at once; couldn''t put it down!" -Alice Warwick, attorney "I don''t particularly like cats, but after reading this book, I want to be one for myself. Now that''s a magical accomplishment!" -Gordon Meyer, author of Smart Home Hacks "Whether you''re allergic to dander, or residential regulations prohibit pets, or your lifestyle doesn''t allow for responsible care of vulnerable creatures, the simplest answer is to be your own cat. I wondered if the claim of ''instant results'' could possibly be true, but you become your own cat during the very first exercise you perform. You can do the steps in any order you wish. I skipped around, and the results weren''t adversely affected. Lots of good laughs along the way." -Cassandra Farley, Univ. of Florida "It''s commonly known that you can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. It''s even well established that you can be your own grandpa. But it takes a Professor Oddfellow to teach you How to Be Your Own Cat--and isn''t it about time?" -Jonathan Caws-Elwitt, playwright "This is paws-down best cat book ever ... because it''s not cutesy. Though obviously playful in tone, the tips are actually serious, and they honestly DO work! This book goes straight to the heart of what makes a cat tick, allowing anyone to genuinely become his or her own feline." -Donna Clark, artist "I have carefully read this spiritual manual and can attest that every single exercise is spiritually correct and--when performed correctly--is guaranteed to be productive of its intended result." -William Keckler, poet "I''ve always admired the way cats approach the world with an air of mystery. Now I know why and how they do it. This book reveals feline secrets that I''ve never seen discussed anywhere else. It''s a delight for any animal lover." -A., chef "Well-thought and whimsically delivered -- puts you in touch with your inner feline. Along with carefully chosen, classic illustrations, this guide is reminiscent of an early 18th century manual. Each passage is a contemplation that is a door to a Zen practice. While we are reminded of our baser animal selves, we are also reminded of the Zen nature of our being. Our feline friends remind us of our true essence and stillness. A delightful book that reflects on our spiritual core in a playful, catlike way." -David Manley, puppeteer "What is the difference between you and a cat? If you have to ask, you''re not a cat. And so this book-agile and quick, mysterious, surprising and sly as any cat-is not for you. It is for the cat that you are, the cat that you can be. Of course you want to be your own cat. If you were your cat, you''d know that you''d always wanted to be your cat. But each of the cat''s nine lives is lived in nine dimensions and so this book is an introduction to feline physics, a mouser grimoire, a grimalkin guide, a siamese travelogue, a numinous catalogue of the non-Cartesian, a Manx how-to, a tabby joke book of recipes and kitten lore for the aspiring puss or tom, domestic ocelot, jaguar or lynx. Yes, perhaps by now it is clear why you want to be your own cat. In this book, the erudite Professor Oddfellow, already always part shimmering and inscrutable cat, explains how. The only question, now, is when?" -Gary Barwin, novelist

How to Be Your Own Cat

Stuart Schwartz

A general description of karate, including its origins and development, warm-up exercises, basic and advanced punches, and safety aspects.

Karate Punches

Mark Willie

A general description of karate, including its origins and development, warm-up exercises, basic and advanced kicks, and safety aspects.

Karate Kicks

A general description of karate, including its origins and development, warm-up exercises, basic and advanced blocks, and safety aspects.

Karate Blocks

Here are revealed a snowball's chances in each of the circles of Hell.

A Snowball's Chance in Hell

Merriam-Webster, move over! Until now, no English dictionary ever found the fun or the fascination in revealing the meanings of letters. One-Letter Words, a Dictionary illuminates the more than 1,000 surprising definitions associated with each letter in the English alphabet. For instance, Conley uncovers seventy-six distinct uses of the letter X, the most versatile, most printed letter in the English language. Using facts, figures, quotations, and etymologies, the author provides a complete and enjoyable understanding of the one-letter word. Conley teaches us that each letter's many different meanings span multiple subjects, including science—B denotes a blood type and also is a symbol for boron on the periodic table of elements—and history—in the Middle Ages, B was branded on a blasphemer's forehead. With the letter A, he reminds us that A is not only a bra size, but also a musical note. One-Letter Words, a Dictionary is a rich, thought-provoking, and curious compendium of the myriad definitions attributed to each letter of the English alphabet. This book is the essential desk companion, gift, or reference volume for a vast array of readers: wordsmiths, puzzle lovers, teachers, students, librarians, and armchair linguists will all find One-Letter Words, a Dictionary a must-have.

One-Letter Words, a Dictionary

Magic Words: A Dictionary is a oneofakind resource for armchair linguists, popculture enthusiasts, Pagans, Wiccans, magicians, and trivia nuts alike. Brimming with the most intriguing magic words and phrases from around the world and illustrated throughout with magical symbols and icons, Magic Words is a dictionary like no other. More than sevenhundred essay style entries describe the origins of magical words as well as historical and popular variations and fascinating trivia. With sources ranging from ancient Medieval alchemists to modern stage magicians, necromancers, and wizards of legend to miracle workers throughout time, Magic Words is a must have for any scholar of magic, language, history, and culture.

A Dictionary

Magic Words

The antidote to "let's don't and say we did," this blank book is a guide to living the life you love and lying about it. In the digital age, it's a hacker-proof method for storing your secrets.

Let's Do and Say We Didn't

Moon, Fish, Ocean is a Zen pastime for one, two, or three players. Easy to learn and highly rewarding, every game is a mindful meditation that communicates a Zen poem through sign language. A less poetic, trendy version of "Moon, Fish, Ocean" is popularly known as "Rock, Paper, Scissors." This offbeat gift book covers the complete rules, scoring, and history of the game. It also explains four separate variations of the game. Presented in a tongue-in-cheek style, this whimsical volume is simultaneously a hilarious send-up of Zen and a reverential tribute. It will appeal to fans of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" as well as to students of Asian philosophy and spirituality.

A Zen Conversion of Rock-Paper-Scissors

Moon-Fish-Ocean

Q: Do you have to visit Last Vegas to use this book? A: No. Vegas is a state of mind. Q: Why should what happens in Vegas either stay in Vegas or be recorded in this secret diary? A: You are entitled to have the curtains drawn, as it were, on anything that you do or otherwise experience in Vegas or within the boundaries of a Vegas state of mind. You are entitled to privacy, even in moral bankruptcy.

Craig Conley

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