Hope Edelman

The classic New York Times bestseller that has helped millions of women cope with and heal from the grief of losing their mothers Although a mother's mortality is inevitable no book has discussed the profound lasting and far reaching effects of this loss until Motherless Daughters, which became an instant classic. More than twenty years later, it is still the go-to book that women of all ages look to for comfort, help, and understanding when their mother dies. Building on interviews with hundreds of mother loss survivors, Edelman's personal story of losing her mother, and recent research in grief and psychology, Motherless Daughters reveals the shared experiences and core identity issues of motherless women: Why the absence of a nurturing hand shapes a woman's identity throughout her lifespan How present day relationships are defined by past losses How a woman can resolve past conflicts and move toward acceptance and healing Why grief really is not a linear passage but an ongoing cyclical journey How the legacy of mother loss shifts with the passage of time

The Legacy of Loss, Second Edition

Motherless Daughters

A validating new approach to the long-term grieving process that explains why we feel "stuck," why that's normal, and how shifting our perception of grief can help us grow--from the New York Times bestselling author of Motherless Daughters "This is perhaps one of the most important books about grief ever written. It finally dispels the myth that we are all supposed to get over the death of a loved one."--Claire Bidwell Smith, author of Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief Aren't you over it yet? Anyone who has experienced a major loss in their past knows this question. We've spent years fielding versions of it, both explicit and implied, from family, colleagues, acquaintances, and friends. We recognize the subtle cues--the slight eyebrow lift, the soft, startled "Oh! That long ago?"--from those who wonder how an event so far in the past can still occupy so much precious mental and emotional real estate. Because of the common but false assumption that grief should be time-limited, too many of us believe we're grieving "wrong" when sadness suddenly resurges sometimes months or even years after a loss. The AfterGrief explains that the death of a loved one isn't something most of us get over, get past, put down, or move beyond. Grief is not an emotion to pass through on the way to "feeling better." Instead, grief is in constant motion; it is tidal, easily and often reactivated by memories and sensory events, and is re-triggered as we experience life transitions, anniversaries, and other losses. Whether we want it to or not, grief gets folded into our developing identities, where it informs our thoughts, hopes, expectations, behaviors, and fears, and we inevitably carry it forward into everything that follows. Drawing on her own encounters with the ripple effects of early loss, as well as on interviews with dozens of researchers, therapists, and regular people who've been bereaved, New York Times bestselling author Hope Edelman offers profound advice for reassessing loss and adjusting the stories we tell ourselves about its impact on our identities. With guidance for reframing a story of loss, finding equilibrium within it, and even experiencing renewed growth and purpose in its wake, she demonstrates that though grief is a lifelong process, it doesn't have to be a lifelong struggle.

Finding Your Way Along the Long Arc of Loss

The AfterGrief

This deeply affecting, beautifully written memoir of a family's emotional journey explores what Edelman and her husband had gone looking for in the Central American jungle and what they ultimately discover.

A Memoir

The Possibility of Everything

When Hope Edelman finished writing Motherless Daughters, she thought she had said all she could about the long-term effects of early mother loss. Published in 1994, the book touched a nerve in women across the country and went on to become an enduring New York Times bestseller. Edelman, who was seventeen when her own mother died, told the collective story of mother loss with such candor, empathy, and informed wisdom that she quickly became a widely recognized expert on the topic. But when she became a parent, she found herself revisiting her loss in ways she had never anticipated. Now the mother of two young girls, Edelman set out to learn how the loss of a mother to death or abandonment can affect the ways women raise their own children. From her exhaustive investigation, including a survey of more than one thousand women, comes Motherless Mothers, the enlightening and inspiring next step in the motherless journey. Using her own story as a prism, Edelman reveals the unique anxieties and desires these mothers experience as they raise their children without the help of a living maternal guide. She examines their parenting choices, their unexpected triumphs, and their fears, from the initial decision to have a child, through pregnancy, the delivery room, and the child-rearing years. Identifying "Eight Themes of Motherless Mothers" that cut across all racial, ethnic, and socio-economic lines, Edelman illuminates how the experience of loss directly impacts the ways in which these women parent their own children. Enriched by the voices of the mothers themselves, as well as filled with practical insight and advice from experienced professionals, this impeccably researched and luminously written book offers motherless mothers the guidance and support they want and need.

How Mother Loss Shapes the Parents We Become

Motherless Mothers

The author joins with other women whose mothers died when they were young to discuss the lasting effects of this loss on their identity, family, relationships with others, and decisions in life

The Legacy of Loss

"For twenty years, this "beautifully written" (USA Today), "moving, comprehensive and insightful look at the lifelong ramifications of the loss of a mother" (San Francisco Chronicle) has been the book a woman can turn to for understanding and comfort when her mother dies. Building on interviews with hundreds of motherless daughters, Hope Edelman's unique and courageous work also reflects her personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss. An exploration of a profoundly life-altering rite-of-passage, Motherless Daughters is for any woman who wants to better understand the mother-daughter relationship."--

"An instant bestseller in both hardcover and paperback, Hope Edelman's Motherless Daughters explores the myriad ways that losing a mother can affect almost every aspect and passage of a woman's life. First published two decades ago, it is still the book that motherless daughters of all ages look to for understanding and comfort and that they press into each others' hands. Building on interviews with hundreds of mother- loss survivors, this life-affirming book also reflects Edelman's personal experience with the continued legacy of mother loss, as a wife and a mother of young children who better understands how the effects of mother loss change over time and in light of new relationships. A work of stunning courage and honesty, Motherless Daughters is a must read for the millions of women whose mothers have gone, but whose need for healing, mourning, and mothering remains"--

the legacy of loss

Motherless daughters

In a companion volume to the national best-seller, Motherless Daughters, the editor adds her own words to letters from women of all ages whose mothers have died, writing about her experiences starting support groups for women.

Words Of Courage, Grief, And Healing

Letter From Motherless Daughters

Motherless Daughters (20th Anniversary Edition)

Ask any woman whose mother has died, and she will tell you that she is irrevocably altered, as deeply changed by her mother's death as she was by her mother's life. Although a mother's mortality is inevitable, no book had discussed the profound, lasting and far-reaching effects of this loss - until Motherless Daughters, which became in instant classic. Over twenty years later, it is still the book that women of all ages look to for comfort and understanding when their mothers die, and the book that they continue to press into each other's hands. Building on interviews with hundreds of mother-loss survivors, the author's personal story of losing her mother and recent research in grief and psychology, Motherless Daughters reveals the shared experiences and core identity issues of motherless women. * * * * * * * 'Motherless Daughters is a timeless source of consolation and information for all who grieve the death of their mother. It highlights that we bear this loss by remembering, not forgetting our mother.' JULIA SAMUEL, author of Grief Works 'Anyone who has lost their mother should read this remarkable, tender book, full of insight and consolation. This is one of those exceptional books that has the power to change your life.' CLOVER STROUD, author of The Wild Other 'Nothing has helped me make more sense of myself than Motherless Daughters; it's the book I go back to again and again, and find something new in it every time.' DECCA AITKENHEAD 'Intelligent, brave, consoling and wise . . . an essential and illuminating must-read for anyone who has lost a mother or loves someone who did.' CHERYL STRAYED, author of Wild 'This book has helped me heal my heart. Finding myself in the stories of other motherless daughters let me know I was not alone. If you have lost your mom - this book is essential.' ROSIE O'DONNELL 'Absorbing . . . insightful . . . a moving and valuable treatment of a neglected subject.' NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW

The author joins with other women whose mothers died when they were young to discuss the lasting effects of this loss on their identity, family, relationships with others, and decisions in life. 60,000 first printing. $100,000 ad/promo. Tour.

The Legacy Of Loss

In her acclaimed New York Times bestseller, Motherless Daughters, Hope Edelman explored the profound and lasting effects of mother loss, as well as her own search for healing. Now, in her compelling new work, Edelman explores another complex, life-changing relationship, the intricate bond between generations. Drawing from her own experience and the recollections of over seventy other granddaughters, Edelman explores the three-generation triangle from which women develop their female identities: the grandmother-mother-daughter relationship. With eloquent personal testimony, she demonstrates the vital roles grandmothers have played in their granddaughters' lives, as a source of unconditional love, family values and traditions, and backup parent, the ultimate safety net. Here are grandmothers in all their glory: The "Benevolent Manipulator", whose love for her family is matched only by her desire for control; The "Gentle Giant", awesome, respected, who possesses a quiet, behind-the-scenes power; The "Autocrat", who rules her extended family like a despot; The "Kinkeeper", the family hub, who offers a sense of cohesion to the extended clan. With insight and compassion, Edelman probes this unique and emotionally-charged relationship in a book that is a true celebration of an extraordinary bond--and a must read for every woman.

The Intimate Bond Between Generations

Mother of My Mother

Robin Hemley

The University of Iowa is a leading light in the writing world. In addition to the Iowa Writers’ Workshop for poets and fiction writers, it houses the prestigious Nonfiction Writing Program (NWP), which was the first full-time masters-granting program in this genre in the United States. Over the past three decades the NWP has produced some of the most influential nonfiction writers in the country. I’ll Tell You Mine is an extraordinary anthology, a book rooted in Iowa’s successful program that goes beyond mere celebration to present some of the best nonfiction writing of the past thirty years. Eighteen pieces produced by Iowa graduates exemplify the development of both the program and the field of nonfiction writing. Each is accompanied by commentary from the author on a challenging issue presented by the story and the writing process, including drafting, workshopping, revising, and listening to (or sometimes ignoring) advice. The essays are put into broader context by a prologue from Robert Atwan, founding editor of the Best American Essays series, who details the rise of nonfiction as a literary genre since the New Journalism of the 1960s. Creative nonfiction is the fastest-growing writing concentration in the country, with more than one hundred and fifty programs in the United States. I’ll Tell You Mine shows why Iowa’s leads the way. Its insider’s view of the Iowa program experience and its wealth of groundbreaking nonfiction writing will entertain readers and inspire writers of all kinds.

Thirty Years of Essays from the Iowa Nonfiction Writing Program

I'll Tell You Mine

From the bestselling author of "Motherless Daughters" comes the real-life story of one woman's search for a cure to her family's escalating troubles, and the leap of faith that took her on a journey to an exotic place and a new state of mind.

Hope Edelman’s bestselling MOTHERLESS DAUGHTERS drew on her own experience of losing her mother at seventeen. Now a mother herself, in MOTHERLESS MOTHERS she considers how her mother’s absence has shaped her seven years of parenting. Through interviews, anecdotes and psychological research, Edelman discusses the challenge of mothering in the shadow of loss, which often triggers a resurgence of childhood grief and confusion. But this is less a book on mourning than a supportive guide for mothers who may feel overwhelmed and alone, bereft of their own mother’s presence, advice and support. The book covers general child-rearing topics for each age group but with a focus specific to the readership such as the void of the absent grandmother; the urge to overcompensate; and the perpetual impulse to protect one’s family from the spectre of loss. Edelman’s voice, suffused with fierce maternal love, joins candid recollections from motherless mothers of all ages and backgrounds. She presents emotionally charged concepts in clear, memorable terms to encourage frank, cathartic discussion. THE NEW YORK TIMES described her previous book as a ‘A moving and valuable treatment of a neglected subject, jolting us into awareness of the profound problems mother loss leaves in its wake.’

How mother loss shapes the parents we become

Motherless Daughters examines the profound effects of the loss of a mother on a woman's identity, personality and life choices, both immediately and as her life goes on. Hope Edelman, who lost her mother at seventeen, searched for a book like this, and wh

Letters from Motherless Daughters is a compilation of the letters Hope Edelman received in response to her groundbreaking New York Times–bestseller, Motherless Daughters. Reaffirming her precious link with motherless women across the country, Edelman presents these moving, honest, and often hopeful letters alongside her own insight to offer readers the opportunity to further learn from loss. The words of these brave women illustrate the profound pain, astounding strength, and undying perseverance of living through the loss of one's mother without ever outliving the need for her. Edelman has added a new introduction and new letters, tailoring this important book to a new generation.

Words of Courage, Grief, and Healing

Letters from Motherless Daughters

A validating new approach to the long-term grieving process that explains why we feel “stuck,” why that’s normal, and how shifting our perception of grief can help us grow—from the New York Times bestselling author of Motherless Daughters “This is perhaps one of the most important books about grief ever written. It finally dispels the myth that we are all supposed to get over the death of a loved one.”—Claire Bidwell Smith, author of Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief Aren’t you over it yet? Anyone who has experienced a major loss in their past knows this question. We’ve spent years fielding versions of it, both explicit and implied, from family, colleagues, acquaintances, and friends. We recognize the subtle cues—the slight eyebrow lift, the soft, startled “Oh! That long ago?”—from those who wonder how an event so far in the past can still occupy so much precious mental and emotional real estate. Because of the common but false assumption that grief should be time-limited, too many of us believe we’re grieving “wrong” when sadness suddenly resurges sometimes months or even years after a loss. The AfterGrief explains that the death of a loved one isn’t something most of us get over, get past, put down, or move beyond. Grief is not an emotion to pass through on the way to “feeling better.” Instead, grief is in constant motion; it is tidal, easily and often reactivated by memories and sensory events, and is re-triggered as we experience life transitions, anniversaries, and other losses. Whether we want it to or not, grief gets folded into our developing identities, where it informs our thoughts, hopes, expectations, behaviors, and fears, and we inevitably carry it forward into everything that follows. Drawing on her own encounters with the ripple effects of early loss, as well as on interviews with dozens of researchers, therapists, and regular people who’ve been bereaved, New York Times bestselling author Hope Edelman offers profound advice for reassessing loss and adjusting the stories we tell ourselves about its impact on our identities. With guidance for reframing a story of loss, finding equilibrium within it, and even experiencing renewed growth and purpose in its wake, she demonstrates that though grief is a lifelong process, it doesn’t have to be a lifelong struggle.

When Hope Edelman, author of the New York Times bestseller Motherless Daughters, became a parent, she found herself revisiting the loss of her mother in ways she had never anticipated. Now the mother of two young girls, Edelman set out to learn how the loss of a mother to death or abandonment can affect the ways women raise their own children. In Motherless Mothers, Edelman uses her own story as a prism to reveal the unique anxieties and desires that these women experience as they raise their children without the help of a living maternal guide. In an impeccably researched, luminously written book enriched by the voices of the mothers themselves—and filled with practical insight and advice from experienced professionals—she examines their parenting choices, their triumphs, and their fears, and offers motherless mothers the guidance and support they want and need.

Hope Edelman

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