Douglas C. Kenney

The Harvard Lampoon

Henry Beard

Presents a parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings."

A Parody

Bored of the Rings

When you like, live forever, what's there to live for? 'About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.' And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in this hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events - Edwart leaves his hash browns untouched at lunch! - he saves her from a flying snowball and Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behaviour, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the hysterical tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

A Parody of Twilight

Nightlight

From the authors of the New York Times bestselling parody The Hunger Pains, this fresh take on J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit is a hilarious send-up of Middle-earth, publishing just in time for the major motion picture release of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. The sequel to the parody of the sequel to the prequel to The Lord of the Rings When Aaron Sorkinshield and his band of Little People embark on a totally feasible quest to reclaim the hoard of Academy Awards stolen from them by the lonely Puff the Magic Dragon, senile wizard Dumbledalf suggests an unlikely and completely unqualified accomplice: Billy Bagboy, an unassuming wobbit dwelling in terrorist-riddled Wobbottabad. Along the way, the company faces Internet trolls, moblins, one really big spider that must be at least an inch and a half wide, and worse. But as they journey from the wonders of Livinwell to the terrors of Jerkwood and beyond, Billy will find that there is more to him than anyone—Tolkien included—ever dreamed. Propelled to his destiny by a series of courageous adventures and indented paragraphs, Billy will set out on the greatest YOLO of all time . . . one that leads deep into the dark caverns hiding a mysterious man named Goldstein, who’s just trying to have a nice seder.

The Wobbit

The hilarious instant New York Times bestseller, The Hunger Pains is a loving parody of the dystopian YA novel and film, The Hunger Games. Winning means wealth, fame, and a life of therapy losing means death, but also fame! This is The Hunger Pains. When Kantkiss Neverclean replaces her sister as a contestant on the Hunger Games—the second-highest-rated reality TV show in Peaceland, behind Extreme Home Makeover—she has no idea what to expect. Having lived her entire life in the telemarketing district’s worst neighborhood, the Crack, Kantkiss feels unprepared to fight to the death while simultaneously winking and looking adorable for the cameras. But when her survival rests on choosing between the dreamy hunk from home, Carol Handsomestein, or the doughy klutz, Pita Malarkey, Kantkiss discovers that the toughest conflicts may not be found on the battlefield but in her own heart . . . which is unfortunately on a battlefield.

The Hunger Pains

For nine years, readers have been waiting for George R.R. Martin to finish A Song of Ice and Fire. Well, now he doesn't have to. From The Harvard Lampoon-Harvard's legendary humor publication-comes an outrageous, uproariously funny parody of Game of Thrones, in the tradition of their previous bestselling parody book classics Bored of the Rings, Nightlight, and The Hunger Pains. An affectionate but take-no-prisoners send-up of the massive literary and television franchise, Lame of Thrones offers fans a way of reentering the fictional world they have come to love and merrily explodes all of its conventions-as well as their expectations of the characters-to hilarious ends. It may even leave you more satisfied than the actual TV ending of Game of Thrones. In fact, if it doesn't the Lampoon has really dropped the ball. Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a likely bet, but his untimely murder at the hands of his own men of the Night's Crotch has made that seem less likely. Will Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkhaki captors and return to conquer the world' Or will she just get left in the desert counting grains of sand for the rest of the book' And what about Jon Dough's siblings' Will they be mentioned' Probably' Almost definitely, yes' It would be weird if they weren't prominent characters in the book, you say' To find out, read the book you wish George R.R. Martin would write but never will. The Lampoon-the place where such comedy writers and performers as Conan O'Brien, Colin Jost, B.J. Novak, Patricia Marx, Alan Yang, Andy Borowitz and many more all got their start-is ready to serve parody notice to the most entertaining, infuriating, and inescapable cultural phenomenon of the past decade.

A Song of Hot and Cold

Lame of Thrones

From Harvard's legendary humor publication comes an outrageous, uproariously funny parody of Game of Thrones, in the tradition of their previous bestselling parody book classics Bored of the Rings, Nightlight, and The Hunger Pains. An affectionate but take-no-prisoners send-up of the massive literary and television franchise, Lame of Thrones offers fans a way of reentering the fictional world they have come to love and merrily explodes all of its conventions -- as well as their expectations of the characters -- to hilarious ends. It may even leave you more satisfied than the actual TV ending of Game of Thrones. In fact, if it doesn't the Lampoon has really dropped the ball. Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a likely bet, but his untimely murder at the hands of his own men of the Night's Crotch has made that seem less likely. Will Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkhaki captors and return to conquer the world? Or will she just get left in the desert counting grains of sand for the rest of the book? And what about Jon Dough's siblings? Will they be mentioned? Probably? Almost definitely, yes? It would be weird if they weren't prominent characters in the book, you say? To find out, read the book you wish George R.R. Martin would write but never will. The Lampoon -- the place where such comedy writers and performers as Conan O'Brien, Colin Jost, B.J. Novak, Patricia Marx, Alan Yang, Andy Borowitz and many more all got their start -- is ready to serve parody notice to the most entertaining, infuriating, and inescapable cultural phenomenon of the past decade.

The Final Book in a Song of Hot and Cold

Il Trono di Lame ti porterà a Westopolis, dove diversi personaggi egomaniaci ed estremamente attraenti stanno gareggiando per essere a capo del reame e sedere sulla Sedia Appuntita. Il nostro eroe Jon Show era uno su cui puntare, ma il suo prematuro omicidio per mano dei suoi uomini Marrani della Notte lo fa sembrare ormai improbabile. E allora chi sarà il prossimo? E succede altro… la Regina dei draghi Dennys Sfigaryem riuscirà a scappare dai suoi carcerieri Clothkhaki e tornare a conquistare il mondo? Oppure sarà abbandonata nel deserto a contare granelli di sabbia per il resto del libro? E i fratelli di Jon Show, che fine hanno fatto? Verranno menzionati? Chi lo sa, scoprire per credere. Di certo suonerebbe strano se non fossero i personaggi di spicco del libro, non trovi? Un’affettuosa presa in giro che non perdona e non lascia fuori nessuno, Il Trono di Lame offre agli appassionati della serie un’opportunità per ritrovare il mondo immaginario che hanno amato e lascerà i lettori più soddisfatti del finale ufficiale della serie tv.

Il trono di lame

50th anniversary edition of the ultimate Tolkien Parody ! Sometimes childish, sometimes rude, always clever and always very, very funny, this book has delighted most, and outraged a few, Tolkien fans in the US for more than 40 years. Pulling in references to popular culture and fantasy literature as a whole, this is a killingly effective parody of THE LORD OF THE RINGS. From the dreary Goddamn (Gollum) to the feckless Arrowroot (Aragorn), the bungling Goodgulf (Gandalf) to the timid, mean-minded boggies Frito (Frodo) and Dildo (Bilbo), no character is safe. Fleeing the Nozdrul, bored by acid-casualty Tim Benzedrine and harassed throughout by the minions of Sorhed, the fellowship move through a Middle Earth like no other. Short, sharp and very much to the point, even Tolkien would be hard-pressed to surpress a giggle at BORED OF THE RINGS.

The Harvard Lampoon

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