Name: Crabs on the Rampage
ISBN: 9780440200222

Guy N. Smith

Crabs on the Rampage

Michael Springer

The fourth volume in the epic story of giant, evil crabs with impenetrable exoskeletons and mean, beady little eyes, this is definitely canon material. Some of the highlights so far:

Blood spouted from the wrist stump, a scarlet salute to the king of the crabs, rich wine spurting into the wizened, lusting face.

I know, right? How about this:

Panicking, tugging at the sash, slamming it hard. Glass splintered and fell tinkling on both sides of the window, an eerie frightening noise that seemed to say "You can't keep the tidal wave out now, Mollie, because the window's broken.

In other words, the sound of the window breaking seemed to be saying "The window is broken."

But this might be the very finest quote so far:

"Ever since we've been married, our whole life seems to be dominated by these damned crabs!"