A brave and compelling account of life as a modern British soldier."I was pinned down and couldn't move. I was up against the wall with no cover, just waiting to die. I hoped it would be quick. My mouth went dry and I couldn't feel my body. Then I thought about dying 'properly', without fear. For some reason that was important to me and I sparked into life. If I was going to die anyway, I may as well fight as I always had." Johnny Mercer was a member of 29 Commando Royal Artillery who was deployed on three combat tours of Afghanistan and weathered some of the heaviest fighting in the entire campaign in the area of Nad-E Ali. Now, in this searingly honest account of life as a 21st century soldier, he reveals what it's really like to be under fire. What you think about as you are trapped by the enemy and waiting to die. What it's like to lose the battle to save one of your men who has been hit by a bullet while protecting you. How he dealt with the stress and with men who couldn't cope, who lost their courage. How he became hardened, and notorious amongst his men for his appetite for killing the enemy. Like many returning soldiers, he was scarred by his experiences and when he left the army he had one goal: to improve the treatment of his generation of combat veterans by becoming a Member of Parliament. Against all advice he stood as a Conservative in the Labour stronghold of Plymouth Moor View - and won.