Name: Wolf Tales
ISBN: 9780758213860

Kate Douglas

When her car goes off the road during a blizzard, Alexandria is rescued by a seductive stranger who is more than just a mere mortal, drawing her into a world of ecstasy and pleasure where her every fantasy becomes a reality. Original.

Wolf Tales

Sans

Holy gods and little demons. That was just a hot mess. And not the good hot that leaves me wishing I smoked and needing a cold shower. 

While I wasn't squicked by the bestiality (because popular vote said that's exactly what it was), I can happily say it is not my thing. Even when it was plain old human sex, it wasn't sexy. Like, at all. I wasn't left moist and panting, I was left wondering how on earth there is more than one of these Wolf Tale books out there. Crap on a cracker. But I stuck with it. I pushed through, just to see how bad it could get. And it got worse.

Not only was the whole "We're simply DESTINED to be together forever, so there's no need to develop any actual relationship, just move on to the hot monkey boom boom" plot devise used (twice!), but we also had the "I'm totally straight but I've been dreaming about you reaming me with your manly staff while you jerk my rod off" (also known as "I'm straight but gay for you") device coupled with the always craptastic "We're gay for each other because of our shape-shifting abilities/ancient heritage/our entire race is sensual no matter what equipment everyone is using" trope.

And what the hell was with all the "I'm the alpha bitch, scream out in ecstasy while I spank you during our first lesbian encounter!"? I would say it came out of left field, but by that point there was nothing I would put past this book. 

Don't even get me started on the "You'll be healed from your rape after you let me play in your back door" plot line. I was actively sneering at my ereader by that point.

And why did the one guy randomly pull out a condom? Why bother with it for the rear action that one time, after he'd been losing his snitch in her chamber of secrets without an invisibility cloak for months already??

I'd also really like to know why I put aside the three amazing books I'm reading and read this instead. I must still be sick. I call a do-over. I want the several hours this took to read back. And the $.99 I spent on the ebook.