Name: Tilly in Technicolor
ISBN: 9781250847065

Mazey Eddings

Tilly in Technicolor

Jazelle H

Stop, Mom. Just stop. Stop laying out all the things you'd change about me and blaming them on a diagnosis. 

ADHD hasn't "changed" me, which is how my mom views it. It is me. It's an undeniable and simple fact of who I am. Like my black hair or my gray eyes or the bump on the bridge of my nose. It exists in my DNA, probably right between my hopeless romantic gene and the raunchy sense of humor allele. It's woven into who I am. It's not some disease that needs to be cured.

When feelings build and overwhelm me, pushing at my joints until I feel like I'll fracture from them, I do something weird and explosive with my body. It just feels...good to move. To get it out.

"They don't have the right to make you feel uncomfortable to fit their ideas of what's proper," Mãe had told me.

But I'm disappointed this tortuous flight did not a romance make. I don't know why, but my brain is always hooking on to random people, wanting so badly to find a connection with someone, even when there's no logical reason for one.

I often get too excited and dart around from idea to idea. Then I realize how circuitous it all gets, which makes me hyperaware of my talking and it all ends up making my tongue feel thick and awkward and like my throat's choking on the rambling sentences.

I once asked my mums if I should consider myself directionless because I didn't have a job title at the ready why an adult asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. They told me it's okay to not know exactly where I'm going, as long as I'm happy where I am.

There's so much energy in the way she moves, the way she holds herself, that, for a moment, I think the vibrant colors are coming straight from her palms.

It's hard to trust new people to accept you as yourself when the world at large doesn't tend to accommodate you.

It always feels like there's a curtain between me and any person I'm talking to, and I worry I'll always feel this separation from the world. Like I'm a extra piece to a jigsaw puzzle, discarded and forgotten under the couch, while everyone else clicks with their matching corners. My wonky edges won't ever have the luxury of complementing someone else's.

She's like an asteroid striking my axis off-balance and sending me spiraling around the room.

Hmm, we get this one life...why don't we create these things called jobs and make them the focal point of your entire world, and the major determiner of your life and ability to survive, and also place moral judgement on how much money you make doing it? Oh, what's money, you ask? It's also this thing we created for fun that will eventually become nothing more than a piece of paper that we assign value to...

Writing is work. Which is funny because I'm told how it "isn't a real job." But what does that mean? It is because it's not a guarantee for lots of money? Is it because it relies so heavily on creativity? Because it deals in emotional currency instead of pieces of paper? Putting feelings into words, capturing the intensity of moments, that's hard. That matters...to me, at least.

The world has this misconception that ADHD is as simple as not focusing or some quirky personality trait, but it's so much more than that. It's like -- God, how do you even explain it? -- it's like every single thing around me is screaming for my attention, clawing at my brain and ripping it in one hundred different directions, all with equal force. And my body can't figure out how to process any of it.

It's not shame that makes me hesitant to tell people -- feeling shame over the wiring of my brain would be an utterly pointless waste of energy -- more than my autism is a piece of me, and sharing any of my pieces with others is a wholly uncomfortable experience. It's handing another person something they can either treat kindly, or twist and reshape to hurt you.

Tilly chews on her lips for a moment before they stretch into a smile that seems her default setting. "Get the struggles of navigating a world not designed for you. Get the confusion and frustration and achy chest that comes with trying to connect with people but never getting it quite right, but saying fuck it and being yourself anyway."

Mum had looked at Mãe like Mãe was the sun and Mum couldn't believe she had the privilege to bask in her warmth. It was one of many variations of loving looks I've seen on both their faces during my life. It's overwhelming to imagine feeling so much you look at someone like that.

I'm turned inside out enough by this boy to admit that I absolutely glow at his concern.

Maybe it isn't that I've been bad at conversations my whole life, but that I haven't been having conversations with the right people.

So what if we tore down those boxes we're supposed to squeeze ourselves into? What if we undo the knots that keep us tied to expectations? What if we let each other, and ourselves, just be?

I guess I don't realize how heavily some words sit in my heart, and I forget that my hands can lift that weight by clacking away on a keyboard. Writing my feelings doesn't take them away, but it gives them another space to be held. That's about. I can leave or revisit as I need to.

i don’t typically read YA outside of fantasy and sci-fi. that being said, when mazey eddings comes out with a book, i’m gonna read it no matter what. Tilly in Technicolor is incredible. i felt so much representation in this book as a woman with ADHD with a husband who has undiagnosed autistic tendencies. i felt so much of both of us in these characters. it’s such a perfect coming of age story and i seriously think anyone can read this book whether they’re an older teen, young adult, or an old lady like me. mazey always does an outstanding job of writing exactly how my brain works when i can never wrap my head around explaining it to anyone.

all my life i’ve been told i’m too loud, too boisterous, too much. it was especially hard growing up knowing i was going to be perceived in every interaction just for being me. for my distinct laugh and my louder than normal way of speaking. i learned to mask myself and dim the light so i wouldn’t be noticed as much. i’ve learned to keep my thoughts to myself even if i’m bursting at the seams to be included in the conversation because who’d want an info dump from me? seeing ollie accept tilly exactly as she is without the mask makes me cry because i truly feel like the only person i can let go with is my partner and i am so grateful to have found him at the exact same age as tilly is. i cannot believe all of the similarities to my story (i was going to school for writing???) and i just didn’t know how much i needed to read this novel. thank you mazey and st martins for giving me the opportunity to read it early and happy pub day 

kelly bee

i don’t typically read YA outside of fantasy and sci-fi. that being said, when mazey eddings comes out with a book, i’m gonna read it no matter what. Tilly in Technicolor is incredible. i felt so much representation in this book as a woman with ADHD with a husband who has undiagnosed autistic tendencies. i felt so much of both of us in these characters. it’s such a perfect coming of age story and i seriously think anyone can read this book whether they’re an older teen, young adult, or an old lady like me. mazey always does an outstanding job of writing exactly how my brain works when i can never wrap my head around explaining it to anyone.

all my life i’ve been told i’m too loud, too boisterous, too much. it was especially hard growing up knowing i was going to be perceived in every interaction just for being me. for my distinct laugh and my louder than normal way of speaking. i learned to mask myself and dim the light so i wouldn’t be noticed as much. i’ve learned to keep my thoughts to myself even if i’m bursting at the seams to be included in the conversation because who’d want an info dump from me? seeing ollie accept tilly exactly as she is without the mask makes me cry because i truly feel like the only person i can let go with is my partner and i am so grateful to have found him at the exact same age as tilly is. i cannot believe all of the similarities to my story (i was going to school for writing???) and i just didn’t know how much i needed to read this novel. thank you mazey and st martins for giving me the opportunity to read it early and happy pub day 

🦇 Tilly in Technicolor Book Review 🦇

❝ "Like a crystal prism. You absorb the world around you but somehow release this brilliant spectrum of colors through your words that people see themselves in. It's a gift." ❞

❓ #QOTD What would you name your signature nail polish color? (Shatter the Stars purple or The Blood of My Enemies red for me)❓

🦇 Tilly Twomley is a chaotic rainbow, while Oliver Clark is a constant midnight sky. When they're seated beside one another on a flight to London, even the smallest interactions--from taking their seats to ketchup explosions--seem to end in disaster. They have no clue they'll be working together all summer, interning for Tilly's sister's nail polish start-up. Between Tilly's ADHD and Oliver's autism, their different ways of communicating and seeing the world tend to clash...while bringing them together, too. 

💜 The books that take me by surprise are always the most difficult to review. Mazey Eddings' YA debut is a stunning exploration of two neurodivergent minds; a story only Eddings could have written, as she was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism herself. It's evident in the internal dialogue, which grants readers vivid insight into both beautifully unique minds. Tilly is a relatable young adult with no idea how she fits in the world with her mind's unique wiring, while Ollie is eager to design a future for himself, despite his inability to process situations at times. Tilly's boundless energy and mood swings clash with Ollie's preference for familiarity and control. Their differences create the perfect opposites attract romance with beautiful neurodivergent representation from someone who understands both mindsets personally. The chapter titles are fun, the character growth is natural, and the supporting cast brings depth to both Tilly and Ollie's worlds. Tilly in Technicolor is hopeful, charming, and heartwarming all at once; a full spectrum of emotion we don't get often enough. 

🦇 I could praise this book for ages, but it does have an unsteady start. Despite the delicious slow burn, the transition from coworkers to friends to lovers wasn't as smooth as I would have liked. I also think the tense relationship between Tilly and her mother was resolved too easily. As someone with parents who "want what's best" but can't empathize with certain conditions (in my case, depression and anxiety), Tilly's mother's sudden acceptance felt too abrupt. The ending felt abrupt as well; this was one of the few times I would have appreciated an epilogue.

🦇 Recommended to any YA lovers looking for a beautiful, unique coming-of-age story. Though it certainly has its fluffy moments, the story is also real and raw; a must-read. (I do think we should categorize this as New Adult, though.)

❤️ Neurodiversity Rep (Autism & ADHD)

❝ "They don't have the right to make you feel uncomfortable to fit their ideas of what's proper." ❞

🦇 Major thanks to the author @mazeyeddings and publisher @stmartinspress / @wednesdaybooks for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley @netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #TillyinTechnicolor

🦇 Tilly in Technicolor Book Review 🦇

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

❝ "Like a crystal prism. You absorb the world around you but somehow release this brilliant spectrum of colors through your words that people see themselves in. It's a gift." ❞

❓ #QOTD What would you name your signature nail polish color? (Shatter the Stars purple or The Blood of My Enemies red for me)❓
 
🦇 Tilly Twomley is a chaotic rainbow, while Oliver Clark is a constant midnight sky. When they're seated beside one another on a flight to London, even the smallest interactions--from taking their seats to ketchup explosions--seem to end in disaster. They have no clue they'll be working together all summer, interning for Tilly's sister's nail polish start-up. Between Tilly's ADHD and Oliver's autism, their different ways of communicating and seeing the world tend to clash...while bringing them together, too. 

💜 The books that take me by surprise are always the most difficult to review. Mazey Eddings' YA debut is a stunning exploration of two neurodivergent minds; a story only Eddings could have written, as she was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism herself. It's evident in the internal dialogue, which grants readers vivid insight into both beautifully unique minds. Tilly is a relatable young adult with no idea how she fits in the world with her mind's unique wiring, while Ollie is eager to design a future for himself, despite his inability to process situations at times. Tilly's boundless energy and mood swings clash with Ollie's preference for familiarity and control. Their differences create the perfect opposites attract romance with beautiful neurodivergent representation from someone who understands both mindsets personally. The chapter titles are fun, the character growth is natural, and the supporting cast brings depth to both Tilly and Ollie's worlds. Tilly in Technicolor is hopeful, charming, and heartwarming all at once; a full spectrum of emotion we don't get often enough. 

🦇 I could praise this book for ages, but it does have an unsteady start. Despite the delicious slow burn, the transition from coworkers to friends to lovers wasn't as smooth as I would have liked. I also think the tense relationship between Tilly and her mother was resolved too easily. As someone with parents who "want what's best" but can't empathize with certain conditions (in my case, depression and anxiety), Tilly's mother's sudden acceptance felt too abrupt. The ending felt abrupt as well; this was one of the few times I would have appreciated an epilogue.

🦇 Recommended to any YA lovers looking for a beautiful, unique coming-of-age story. Though it certainly has its fluffy moments, the story is also real and raw; a must-read. (I do think we should categorize this as New Adult, though.)

✨ The Vibes ✨
❤️ Neurodiversity Rep (Autism & ADHD)
💜 YA Debut
💙 Meet Cute Disaster
🗼 Traveling Europe
💛 First-Person Dual POV
💚 Slow Burn
🤍 Forced Proximity

❝ "They don't have the right to make you feel uncomfortable to fit their ideas of what's proper." ❞

🦇 Major thanks to the author @mazeyeddings and publisher @stmartinspress / @wednesdaybooks for providing an ARC of this book via Netgalley @netgalley. 🥰 This does not affect my opinion regarding the book. #TillyinTechnicolor

Tilly in Technicolor

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