Name: Bite Me
ISBN: 9780980245387

Parker Blue

An edgy book for teens that spans the gap between YA and adult fiction.

Bite Me

Monicap

Ho… this book. Thoughts. Let’s just…

First off, what was the author THINKING? With the title? I mean, yeah. It’s a good title for a vampire book, I guess… if you’re in MIDDLE SCHOOL. It’s so juvenile. Ugh.

Plot: 3.5
There was a good plot here. There was suspense and action and a central motive and all good things plot’s require. Unfortunately… other factors clouded these elements and sort of took over. Bad characterization. Stiff writing. And also, though the BASIC plot was good, the way the author executed parts of it was just… it fell short of the mark.

Characters: 2.5
Val Shapiro: I actually liked her as a character. But things happened. Like the big reveal. That… that was not done well. Also, I did not appreciate how much time she spent refuting Buffy*. 
Dan Sullivan: I hate him. I still hate him. I know the author spent the last half of the book pulling a lot a little gimmicks to try and make me forgive him, but it didn’t work. I said that he would have to do some F****** Amazing to make me forgive him, and he didn’t. He didn’t do anything. There was that weird vulcn-mind-meld-thing, which was totally not initiated by him, so that didn’t count for anything. And then he told off her mom, which COULD have qualified as that amazing thing, except it was not well-said at all. And then there was that scene after the big battle at the end. Again, in which he DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. So no. I don’t forgive him. I still hate his guts. (IT may also be in part because I am very stubborn)
Jen: Is the little sister who ineveitably gets kidnapped/in trouble. Although they never really MENTIONED Buffy around Jen, so much of the book was spent refuting Buffy, I feel entitled to make this point: Jen is Dawn. That is it. Period. There is NO difference WHATSOEVER between Jen and Dawn.
Rick: I liked him. I liked the new take on the step dad. Cuz they’re always mean/abusive/evil/etc. but Rick was nice.
Fang: I feel like the dog was probably my favorite character in the whole book.

Romance: 2/5
SO, I mentioned the Big Reveal when I was talking about Val. The Big Reveal is what happens when the Main character has been keeping a secret from the other characters, in this case, the main love interest, Dan. It was AFTER the Big Reveal that this book just tanked. It was, for the most part, all right (or at least forgivable). But then… oh man, so many things went wrong. I’ll just talk about two things that went wrong, though: 
1) HOW VAL HANDLED THE BIG REVEAL: She gave away, not just her own secret, but also EVERY OTHER SECCRET WE HAD LEARNE DOVER THE COURSE OF BOOK. Meaning she told Dan about Fang, all the things that Ramirez knew, AND the secrets of the other part-demons in the story. (view spoiler)[If I had been Micah, I’d’ve been WAAAY more pissed at her.  (hide spoiler)]
2) Dan’s reaction: Actually, nothing was really wrong here, it was completely reasonable and everything (My brother actually agrees Dan on this point, and I happen to place a lot of trust in my brother’s decisions/feelings about things). But THIS is the part that made me hate him… so. Yeah. There’s that.

Overall Grade: 8/15. D.
I would just like to put in a not here though: I am judging this book by the standards of traditionally published books, which makes up the large percentage of what I read. But those standards, this book is really lousy.
If I were judging by the standards of indie books, though, the grade would be higher.

*More on Buffy: Buffy is my favorite fandom, of all time. It’s fine to reference it in a book, that’ll make me like it better. But spending half your book explaining all the reasons why this world is NOT like Buffy and why Buffy is NOT respected in this world… doesn’t really fly. Moreover, why would you spend half your book refuting Buffy, when your book IS EXACTL like Buffy? I am not convinced that the author (Or anyone in this world) has even seen Buffy for that matter. They just Siad. “Buffy. We’re not it.” Though they totally were. The author OBVIOUSLY had no idea what she was talking about when it came to Buffy. (And if you don’t really know what you’re talking about, than a fine suggestion is to NOT TALK ABOUT IT A LOT.) Just my opinion, folks.

Also, to answer the all-important question: will I or will not read the next one?
Since I can get the next one from the library… Yes. Most likely.
“But, Monica, you just said that this entire was shit. Why would you even want to read the next one?”
Because I’m a masochist?
No. I’m going to compare this book to substitute potato chips. They taste bad, they’re not even good for you, but you eat them anyway, especially when there’s no real potato chips around.
*For the record, in this analogy, real potato chips are other books, of which I do have quite a few laying around*
But I’ve already opened the bag of substitute potato chips, and my mom says I’m only supposed to have one bag of potato chips open at a time, so I’ll finish this bag. And then I’ll go get the real ones.
Also, I’m very forgiving, and I hope this series improves as the author’s writing style evolves.

Siobhán

Original Post @ Love Fantasy Sci-Fi Novels

Bite Me is a first the Demon Underground Series by Parker Blue. It follow. Val, an eighteen year old who is part human, part lust demon (succubus). She prowls the streets of San Antanio at night hunting down Vampires and Killing them to feed her demon inside that she she calls Lola. However, everything changes for Val when one night her sixteen year sister hides in the backseat of her car which leads Val to being kicked out the house and soon is she is finds herself fighting for those she loves.

When I started this book I thought it had a Buffy feel to it. Now I love Buffy so that is a compliment. Val is a very strong main character. And yet she is very vulnerable after her parents kick her out. All she wants is for a normal life but that wont ever happen. You really feel for her when it comes to her Mother. I hated her mother. Her mother comes across like she doesn't really care about Val and yet Val never stops loving her and wants to be accepted by her. Val has a better relationship with her Stepdad Rick. He is the one who helped Val train to kill vampires and control her demon. However even he doesn't stand up for Val when her mother kicks her out. So I have really mixed feeling about the him. What I really love about Val is even though her parents are winning any parent of the year awards she is still very loyal to them and cares about them especially when her half sister Jen runs away from home and gets involved with vampires.

So yes, I really like Val. However, there are many characters on this book. Some you are going to love and some you will hate. My favourite character is simply wonderful. He gets the funny one liners. He is cute and loyal and furry, Lol. Yes my favourite character is Fang, Val's half dog and half hellhound best friend. Lol. I was honestly laughing out load. He come across all as having all attitude and snarky but deep down he is a big softy and adores Vals.

We also get introduced to the lovely Detective Dan. It is very clear there is a spark with him and Val. He is seven years older than Val and yet Val is quite mature that you forget. I have the image in my head that he looks like Mark Brennan who is an Australian actor in Neighbours.

Parker Blue has create a brillant story. It's a very quick read that had me hooked from the very start. Bite Me is edgy and fun and a great novel that can be enjoyed by the older teens and adults as it crosses over between YA and Adult Urban Fantasy.

Bite Me

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