David Heller

People Go Crazy over Romance like Bees Go Wild over Honey is a hilarious and memorable look at children’s views of romance, dating, and kissing. Directly from the spontaneous comments of four- to thirteen-year-olds, the reader is taken on a lively and outrageous journey through the nature of attraction, how to make yourself more attractive, courtship etiquette, adult dating habits, how to create a relationship, how the genders are different, the children’s tips for romantically challenged grown-ups, and what happens if, by some chance, two people actually fall in love. Unlike their predecessors, this cohort of youngsters understands that the Internet is a common vehicle for meeting new people. Thus, they welcome with alacrity the opportunity to write their own dating site biographies and describe in detail what photos they would post. They also share with us, without self-consciousness, what they themselves would text on the next day after a first date—both if they hit it off with someone and if the date falls short of expectations. The resulting missives are as poignant as they are funny, and they say so much about the human predicament of wanting relationships so earnestly and yet finding them so elusive. Here is a sample of typical choice offerings: “In the beginning, you didn’t have much of a choice because the only choice was the big dumb caveman in the next cave over” (Samantha, age 11). “Poets have been curious about love because to this very day, nobody at all understands women” (Robert, age 10). “Being romantic means you give a girl a kiss and a diamond ring, and she says: ‘That’s very romantic. Can I have another?’” (Javier, age 8). “I like girls because they are elegant and they always carry tissues with them when you need one” (Efrem, age 7). “If I fibbed on a dating profile, I would say I was top-rated in my class for being hot!” (Eli, age 9). “On Christmas, if you kiss under the mistletoe, you are supposed to get married. But if it happens by accident, God might let you off the hook” (Sandy, age 9). “For lovers, Valentine’s Day is the day you kiss and kiss until you get all puckered out and just eat chocolates as big as your heart” (Claire, age 10). “There is ten times more kissing on Valentine’s Day, so people should get the next day off just to recover!” (Taylor, age 9).

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