John M. Gottman

An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.

The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples

Julie Schwartz Gottman

Joan DeClaire

The experts at the Love Lab introduce a series of effective tools and practical steps for couples looking to improve or preserve their relationships, explaining how to identify common problems and to develop positive ways to avoid these destructive pitfalls. Reprint. 40,000 first printing.

America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book.

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)

المبادئ السبعة الأساسية  لإنجاح الزواج

Relationship Guides

The widely celebrated, research-based marital therapy program—now updated and revised. The highly influential book The Marriage Clinic presented a complete marital therapy program based on John Gottman’s much-heralded research on marital success and failure. Since then, Dr. Gottman has collaborated with his wife, clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Gottman, to conduct their well-known Love Lab studies, allowing the pair to design a highly successful couples’ workshop and develop their Sound Relationship House theory. Now, in the book’s first-ever revision, Dr. Gottman and Dr. Gottman incorporate the results of their studies and their most powerful interventions. In addition to its original, celebrated marital therapy program, The New Marriage Clinic includes findings on the dynamics of same-sex couples, interventions for couples recovering from situational domestic violence, strategies for couples rebuilding their marriages after an affair, and much more. No relational therapist’s bookshelf is complete without this vital update to the groundbreaking guide on marital therapy.

A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy Updated

The New Marriage Clinic

John and Julie Gottman, world-renowned for bringing an evidence base to couples therapy, report here the results of a second empirical revolution in understanding couples and families. This change is not based on their guesswork, but on state-of-the-art science. The book you hold in your hands finally completes the old general systems theory of the 1960s, which metaphorically described processes but did not actually research them. A new general systems theory and therapy is presented here, one which will have profound implications for powerful clinical work with both couples and families. This new theory is based on 45 years of careful basic scientific research with thousands of couples and families, including synchronized observational, interview, physiological, and questionnaire data. The Gottmans have studied some families for as long as 20 consecutive years. Their work has led to their highly replicated ability to precisely predict the future of relationships, relationship happiness, and whether couples will divorce or not with as much as 94% accuracy. Their empirical work has also led them to develop and test a theory of specifically what makes relationships work. Each construct in this theory is precise and measurable and it is all written about and described here. This book presents an original new way of understanding relationships and families. Both theoretical and highly practical, and it will help clinicians become more effective in their everyday work.

Completing General Systems Theory

The Science of Couples and Family Therapy

John Gottman

Nan Silver

The author examines how criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling, can destroy relationships and shows how successful and happy relationships depend not so much on problem solving, but on building an emotional bank of well being that can be drawn upon in times of trouble.

And How You Can Make Yours Last

Why Marriages Succeed Or Fail

In jeder Partnerschaft finden neben kleineren auch größere Konflikte statt. Doch nur ein Drittel davon lassen sich tatsächlich dauerhaft lösen. Es ist daher sinnvoller, seine Energie und Zeit nicht damit zu vergeuden, bestimmte Probleme unbedingt lösen zu wollen, sondern mit ihnen konstruktiv umzugehen. Denn nur auf diese Weise lässt sich langfristig eine wirklich glückliche Beziehung führen – trotz der Konflikte. Die international erfolgreichen Paartherapeuten John und Julie Gottman haben im Laufe zahlreicher Studien die fünf typischsten Beziehungskonflikte herausgefiltert und zeigen in ihrem Buch, wie man sie entweder vermeidet oder lernt, auf Dauer mit ihnen umzugehen. Denn nur so kann man als Paar an ihnen wachsen.

... und wie die Liebe daran wachsen kann | Wie jede Partnerschaft die fünf häufigsten Konflikte vermeidet oder lernt, auf Dauer mit ihnen umzugehen

5 Konflikte, die jedem Paar begegnen

In its original volume, first published in 1993, John Gottman details years of research involving questionnaires and observations of married couples in pursuit of the determinants of both marital happiness and divorce. Grounded in science and informed by clinical practice, it offers psychological professional insight and awareness of what healthy relationships need. With a new preface by the Gottman Institute Clinical Director, Dr Don Cole, and Research Director, Dr Carrie Cole, this Classic Edition of the landmark text, What Predicts Divorce?, reveals to a new generation, the original context of Gottman’s work, how he has further developed his research and thinking, and the ongoing relevance of this volume in the context of future challenges for the field. Providing a roadmap that gives shape to the science yet to be done, this Classic Edition of What Predicts Divorce? is essential reading for all family and clinical psychologists, as well as therapists working with couples in relationship counselling.

The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes

What Predicts Divorce?

Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting

Roger Bakeman

This book provides a straightforward introduction to scientific methods for observing social behavior.

An Introduction to Sequential Analysis

Observing Interaction

John Mordechai Gottman

Anup Kumar Roy

Information Technology Consultant Anup Kumar Roy

In the observational study of social systems, the major conceptual innovation of the last century was General Systems Theory. Yet the General Systems Theory conceptions of interacting social systems were doomed to remain at the prescientific level of metaphor until a set of statistical techniques were developed and applied.

A Guide for Behavioral Researchers

Sequential Analysis

Jeffrey G. Parker

This book describes the results of thirteen years spent studying conversations between friends and speculates about the implications for a new theory of social and emotional development. The authors succinctly review the literature on the role of friendship in people's lives. They also thoughtfully delineate and clarify a number of methodological issues: naturalistic sampling, reliable and valid observations coding, sequential analysis, first vs. second order change, valid laboratory analogues, quantitative sociolinguistic techniques, and clinical applications. The notion of a support network is given an observational basis.

Speculations on Affective Development

Conversations of Friends

The Marriage Clinic presents a complete marital therapy program based on John Gottman's much heralded research on marital success and failure. Here one will find not only a wide range of succinct and useful assessment procedures, but also a highly specific, research-based, and modularized treatment program. In addition, there are dozens of questionnaires and interview protocols to be used in both assessment and intervention. In prospective, long-term research with over 700 couples, Gottman has discovered certain factors that distinguish happy, stable couples from both unstable, ultimately divorcing couples and stable but unhappy couples. These findings, which are explained here in understandable, nontechnical language, form the basis of his Sound Marital House theory of marriage, which guides the new therapy. This therapy has two goals: changing the marital friendship and teaching couples to regulate conflict. Despite the high aims of much marital therapy, Gottman found that most marital conflicts involve fundamentally unresolvable relationship issues called "perpetual problems." He shows how therapists can help spouses move from gridlock to dialogue on these issues. Solvable problems can be resolved more easily when the couple has a strong marital friendship. He gives therapists the tools to teach spouses five fundamental skills to develop and strengthen their friendship: softened start-up, accepting influence, repair and de-escalation, compromise, and physiological soothing. Gottman compares his clinic to a restaurant, where clients are offered a menu of treatment formats, from psychoeducation for specific issues to extended therapy to repair a badly damaged marital friendship. Therapists, too, can choose among the questionnaires and strategies for those that fit the needs of particular couples. Whatever their choice, they will find that their practice is greatly enriched by the scientifically-based offerings of The Marriage Clinic.

The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy

The Science of Couples and Family Therapy: Behind the Scenes at the "Love Lab"

Catherine C. Swanson

Rebecca Tyson

Kristin R. Swanson

James D. Murray

Divorce rates are at an all-time high. But without a theoretical understanding of the processes related to marital stability and dissolution, it is difficult to design and evaluate new marriage interventions. The Mathematics of Marriage provides the foundation for a scientific theory of marital relations. The book does not rely on metaphors, but develops and applies a mathematical model using difference equations. The work is the fulfillment of the goal to build a mathematical framework for the general system theory of families first suggested by Ludwig Von Bertalanffy in the 1960s.The book also presents a complete introduction to the mathematics involved in theory building and testing, and details the development of experiments and models. In one "marriage experiment," for example, the authors explored the effects of lowering or raising a couple's heart rates. Armed with their mathematical model, they were able to do real experiments to determine which processes were affected by their interventions. Applying ideas such as phase space, null clines, influence functions, inertia, and uninfluenced and influenced stable steady states (attractors), the authors show how other researchers can use the methods to weigh their own data with positive and negative weights. While the focus is on modeling marriage, the techniques can be applied to other types of psychological phenomena as well.

John M. Gottman

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