Name: Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
ISBN: 9781400050192

Julie Schwartz Gottman

Joan DeClaire

John M. Gottman

The experts at the Love Lab introduce a series of effective tools and practical steps for couples looking to improve or preserve their relationships, explaining how to identify common problems and to develop positive ways to avoid these destructive pitfalls. Reprint. 40,000 first printing.

America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

Jennifer

Note: I was a psych major who worked in a lab in college that observed couples arguing. I remember learning about the Gottmans and their therapeutic techniques (as described in this book). I was excited to read this to fulfill my psychology needs and dreams.<br /><br />Though this book is labeled for marriage, I would say that most of the advice pertains to general empathy, listening, and communication skills between two people. I think that the advice given to couples can also be applied to communication with family, friends, and even coworkers when having issues. For example, validating the speaker's emotions by asking for clarification and for more detail. I think a lot of conversations in the workplace or at home can benefit from doing this. Another example is if you're arguing about something and seem to be at a standstill, you can ask for more information, such as "tell me why this is important to you" or "what are your feelings on this issue". This disarms the other person and opens up the heated argument to more of a conversation. This piece of advice seems to be generalizable to more than just a loved one. How about when you're arguing with a coworker about politics? I think this could be useful then as well.<br /><br />Life is not easy and communicating one's feelings is extremely difficult, especially about tough topics with those you love the most. Though I can see how some could say that this book oversimplifies problems, I think the advice could still help people get the gist of how to begin to solve their problems. I don't think this book (or any book) could substitute any type of face-to-face counseling, but I would recommend this book for anyone having trouble with communicating feelings, in addition to married people/people in long-term, committed relationships. 

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship